yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
