Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
