Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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