the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
