its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
