whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
