Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
