you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
