So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
