The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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