Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
