oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My breasts were aching with rage.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
