Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize