went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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