we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
