Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize