I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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