I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
