for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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