dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
