i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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