i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
