i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Shame - the story of my life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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