The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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