im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
