did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
