I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
