Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
