I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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