I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
