are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
