i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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