so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
