I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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