P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my being single is dangerous.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
