Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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