Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
