I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
