Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
