So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
