I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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