So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
