So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
