If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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