four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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