ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
