no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
should my penis look like a turkey
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
