The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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