He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize