Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
