There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
