a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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