your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
