it's too hot outside to masturbate.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize