This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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