Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
