Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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