I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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