:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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