Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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