so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Boobs are out for the taking
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
