I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
